Conflict and Community: Is There An Answer?

One of the first thing most of us noticed when we entered the on-line world of real vampirism is the seemingly endless amount of conflict with it. One organization has a grudge against another organization, one individual uses the tools of technology to smear or libel another, and whole `nations' go to `war' over seeming trivialities. If you are anything like myself, you probably found it mildly entertaining for a short time, then found it annoying, then childish, and finally, intolerable enough to the point where one simply stops listening. What is it about vampirism that causes such strife on such a fundamental level? Is it vampirism, per se, or is it something more mundane than that? What IS this `community' we keep talking about? Is there such an animal? Let's begin with a few definitions.

A `community' is most often defined as a group of individuals united by a fundamental similarity in thought or belief. As such, when we speak of the `vampire community', we are generally talking about those of us who lack a fundamental energy that we must draw from outside of ourselves. Often included in that community are those that assist us with these needs (`donors', `black swans', etc.) and sometimes those who are simply drawn to a gothic lifestyle and feel more comfortable amongst the vampiric community than in other groups. Thus, we CAN be assured that there is a vampiric community, in the same way that there is a `black' community, a `goth' community, and a Catholic `community'. To deny this would be fundamentally absurd. We can define this even further by stating that there is an `on-line' community, of which the Vampire Church is a fundamental cornerstone, and an `off-line' community such as the Mid-Atlantic Vampire Association or any number of its sister organizations throughout the world. But just like in every other community, what one vampire believes to be truth may not be the same as what another believes. Just as in mundane communities, both may feel the righteousness of their belief, but UNLIKE the mundane communities, we often feel the need to press our point of view upon the others. I have often thought to myself upon seeing such disputes, "Oh hell….It's `Allah or the sword' again…."

Now ordinarily, differences of opinion can be worked around for the greater good of the community as a whole. But it doesn't seem to work that way amongst THIS community and I have often wondered why that is. Without making sweeping generalities about vampires in general it is difficult to approach this topic in any politically-correct way, so I'm not even going to try. Rather, I am going to pose some observations about the vampires that I know and allow you to decide if this particular shoe fits.

One of the most common traits of vampires in general is that we do not trust our own kind. We have learned through generations of betrayal, backstabbing, and public ridicule that to entrust another vampire with a secret is perhaps the most foolish action possible. Too often those of us who have found that secret used as a weapon against us at the earliest convenient opportunity. This type of behavior is probably the origin of the idea that we are predatory creatures as willing to devour our own as another. Are we simply not trustworthy creatures capable of acting in concert for the greater good? No. Not at all. There are untrustworthy individuals in every community, and this one is no different.

Another thing we notice about the `community' is that we tend to band together in groups. Call them tribes, if you will, or `houses', or `chapters', but we seem to feel the need to come together as a group, either out of protection or out of a simple human need to know that we are not alone. That is well and good. That is, until you run across another common characteristic of the modern vampire, and that is the NEED to control. Most of us genuinely desire to be in control of our own lives, and if our life is bound to that of a larger entity it often means controlling that entity. Once we've separated ourselves into these groups the natural thing is to establish a pecking order of sorts. In this community, that is a bit like taking a bus-trip where EVERYBODY insists on driving.

Sadly, one cannot administer a community where everybody is a chief and there are no braves. It can't be done, unless it is a VERY small community. A great deal of animosity is created when several community leaders are asked to speak to the media and others are not. Even MORE animosity is created when one or all of these leaders claim to speak for the community as a whole. This pits `houses' against `houses', `chapters' against `chapter', `houses' against `chapters', and eventually, whole organizations against each other for the right to crown a `vampire king'. Too often these petty squabbles would be better served by sending out the membership en masse to urinate on the nearest tree to mark the territory. We often forget that we have no authority to `ban' or `bar' people from public places just because we happen to live nearby.

There is no such thing as a vampire king. And there never has been.

We are far too complicated an animal to have one man speak for all. It just doesn't happen. The best we can hope for organizationally is to find the best `fit' for our personal beliefs that is administered by a leader or council who'se general aims and goals we can support. As organizations evolve like the living, breathing entities they are, we must evolve with them or make the painful choice to separate ourselves from that organization. This often involves leaving people that one thinks of as friends, as family, both for their good and your own. Some of us prefer to stay and slug it out, often getting a vicarious feed on the chaotic energies created by controversy. This usually ends with ejection from the group, which breeds even more bitterness and resentment. Let's face it, most of us had PLENTY of bitterness and resentment before we joined these organizations. That, too, is a broad generalization, but in my experience a reasonably accurate one. So how in the world can we even hope for peace within a community that has set itself up to be ever-vigilante against incursion by the neighbors? Short of building a great wall around our respective territories I see few options.

We deal with these controversies as best we can, in mature, reasonable ways. We set up Yahoo groups to work them out. We elect panels of arbitrators to assist in the peace-making. We create grievance councils to deal with in-house fighting. There are codes of conduct, notably `The Black Veil', `The Black Veil (revised)', and the new "Donor Bill of Rights'. Still, without the cooperation of all parties involved, such things will never, ever work. Why? Because the minute the judgement goes against an individual they attack the authority and validity of the deciding body, whether or not they actually voted to create it. An arbitration body without the ability to make binding decisions does little but wear down the participants to the point that if they DO stop fighting it is because they are too tired to continue. And there will ALWAYS be that one individual who will, for whatever reason, see peace about to be declared and see it as an opportunity to attack.

So how SHOULD we deal with these issues? After spending the last two weeks of my life brokering a local `cease-fire' which achieved its objectives only to be completely destroyed by the individual who benefited MOST from the ceasefire, my answer is that WE should do nothing. I should police myself. I should remember to respect both my opponent and the group. I should take responsibility for MY part in the dispute and no more. This is because I am the only one that has absolute control over ME, and I am the ONLY thing that I am likely to EVER have absolute control over.

And I'll do a dangerous thing here...I'll tell you MY new secret weapon for dealing with the internal controversy of internet vampire politics. If we disagree and cannot or will not come to an accord, so what? If the fighting escalates to personal attacks and mud-slinging, you will cease to exist to me. I will simply ignore you the way the Amish would shun the sinners in their midst a hundred years ago. One man cannot fight. If other OFFLINE attacks are made, I shall let my lawyer deal with it. I will give the issue no more time than it deserves. Those of you who know me will realize that this is a radical departure from my usual methods.

Maybe you, the reader, could give this a try…..
After all, if it doesn't work, we can always climb back into the trees and fling our own excrement at each other again…….

Tom Begley
Associate, Vampire Church

© Vampire Church



Back to Articles

Back to Main Page