Conflict and Community: Is There An Answer?
One of the first thing most of us noticed when we entered the on-line
world of real vampirism is the seemingly endless amount of conflict
with it. One organization has a grudge against another organization,
one individual uses the tools of technology to smear or libel
another, and whole `nations' go to `war' over seeming trivialities.
If you are anything like myself, you probably found it mildly
entertaining for a short time, then found it annoying, then childish,
and finally, intolerable enough to the point where one simply stops
listening. What is it about vampirism that causes such strife on such
a fundamental level? Is it vampirism, per se, or is it something more
mundane than that? What IS this `community' we keep talking about? Is there
such an animal? Let's begin with a few definitions.
A `community' is most often defined as a group of individuals united
by a fundamental similarity in thought or belief. As such, when we
speak of the `vampire community', we are generally talking about
those of us who lack a fundamental energy that we must draw from
outside of ourselves. Often included in that community are those
that assist us with these needs (`donors', `black swans', etc.) and
sometimes those who are simply drawn to a gothic lifestyle and feel more comfortable amongst the vampiric
community than in other groups. Thus, we CAN be assured that there
is a vampiric community, in the same way that there is a `black'
community, a `goth' community, and a Catholic `community'. To deny
this would be fundamentally absurd. We can define this even further
by stating that there is an `on-line' community, of which the Vampire
Church is a fundamental cornerstone, and an `off-line' community such
as the Mid-Atlantic Vampire Association or any number of its sister
organizations throughout the world. But just like in every other
community, what one vampire believes to be truth may not be the same
as what another believes. Just as in mundane communities, both may
feel the righteousness of their belief, but UNLIKE the mundane
communities, we often feel the need to press our point of view
upon the others. I have often thought to myself upon seeing such
disputes, "Oh hell….It's `Allah or the sword' again…."
Now ordinarily, differences of opinion can be worked around for the
greater good of the community as a whole. But it doesn't seem to work
that way amongst THIS community and I have often wondered why that
is. Without making sweeping generalities about vampires in general it
is difficult to approach this topic in any politically-correct way,
so I'm not even going to try. Rather, I am going to pose some
observations about the vampires that I know and allow you to decide
if this particular shoe fits.
One of the most common traits of vampires in general is that we do
not trust our own kind. We have learned through generations of betrayal,
backstabbing, and public ridicule that to entrust another vampire
with a secret is perhaps the most foolish action possible. Too often
those of us who have found that secret used as a weapon against us
at the earliest convenient opportunity. This type of behavior is
probably the origin of the idea that we are predatory creatures as
willing to devour our own as another. Are we simply not trustworthy
creatures capable of acting in concert for the greater good?
No. Not at all. There are untrustworthy individuals in every
community, and this one is no different.
Another thing we notice about the `community' is that we tend to band
together in groups. Call them tribes, if you will, or `houses',
or `chapters',
but we seem to feel the need to come together as a group, either out
of protection or out of a simple human need to know that we are not
alone. That is well and good. That is, until you run across another common
characteristic of the modern vampire, and that is the NEED to control.
Most of us genuinely desire to be in control of our own lives, and if
our life is bound to that of a larger entity it often means
controlling that entity. Once we've separated ourselves into these groups the natural thing is
to establish a pecking order of sorts. In this community, that is a
bit like taking a bus-trip where EVERYBODY insists on driving.
Sadly, one cannot administer a community where everybody is a chief
and there are no braves. It can't be done, unless it is a VERY small
community. A great deal of animosity is created when several community leaders
are asked to speak to the media and others are not. Even MORE
animosity is created when one or all of these leaders claim to speak
for the community as a whole. This pits `houses'
against `houses', `chapters' against `chapter', `houses'
against `chapters', and eventually, whole organizations against each
other for the right to crown a `vampire king'. Too often these petty
squabbles would be better served by sending out the membership en
masse to urinate on the nearest tree to mark the territory. We often
forget that we have no authority to `ban' or `bar' people from public
places just because we happen to live nearby.
There is no such thing as a vampire king. And there never has been.
We are far too complicated an animal to have one man speak for all.
It just doesn't happen. The best we can hope for organizationally is
to find the best `fit' for our personal beliefs that is administered
by a leader or council who'se general aims and goals we can support.
As organizations evolve like the living, breathing entities they are,
we must evolve with them or make the painful choice to separate
ourselves from that organization. This often involves leaving people
that one thinks of as friends, as family, both for their good and
your own. Some of us prefer to stay and slug it out, often getting a
vicarious feed on the chaotic energies created by controversy. This
usually ends with ejection from the group, which breeds even more
bitterness and resentment. Let's face it, most of us had PLENTY of
bitterness and resentment before we joined these organizations. That,
too, is a broad generalization, but in my experience a reasonably
accurate one. So how in the world can we even hope for peace within a
community that has set itself up to be ever-vigilante against
incursion by the neighbors? Short of building a great wall around our
respective territories I see few options.
We deal with these controversies as best we can, in mature,
reasonable ways. We set up Yahoo groups to work them out. We elect panels of
arbitrators to assist in the peace-making. We create grievance councils to deal
with in-house fighting. There are codes of conduct, notably `The
Black Veil', `The Black Veil (revised)', and the new "Donor Bill of
Rights'. Still, without the cooperation of all parties involved, such
things will never, ever work. Why? Because the minute the judgement
goes against an individual they attack the authority and validity of
the deciding body, whether or not they actually voted to create it.
An arbitration body without the ability to make binding decisions
does little but wear down the participants to the point that if they
DO stop fighting it is because they are too tired to continue. And
there will ALWAYS be that one individual who will, for whatever
reason, see peace about to be declared and see it as an opportunity
to attack.
So how SHOULD we deal with these issues? After spending the last two
weeks of my life brokering a local `cease-fire' which achieved its
objectives only to be completely destroyed by the individual who
benefited MOST from the ceasefire, my answer is that WE should do
nothing. I should police myself. I should remember to respect both
my opponent and the group. I should take responsibility for MY part in the dispute and no more.
This is because I am the only one that has absolute control over ME,
and I am the ONLY thing that I am likely to EVER have absolute
control over.
And I'll do a dangerous thing here...I'll tell you MY new secret
weapon for dealing with the internal controversy of internet vampire
politics. If we disagree and cannot or will not come to an accord, so
what? If the fighting escalates to personal attacks and mud-slinging,
you will cease to exist to me. I will simply ignore you the way the Amish would shun the sinners in
their midst a hundred years ago. One man cannot fight. If other
OFFLINE attacks are made, I shall let my lawyer deal with it. I will
give the issue no more time than it deserves. Those of you who know
me will realize that this is a radical departure from my usual
methods.
Maybe you, the reader, could give this a try…..
After all, if it doesn't work, we can always climb back into the
trees and fling our own excrement at each other again…….
Tom Begley
Associate, Vampire Church
© Vampire Church